Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
