Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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