nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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