I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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