Pants 0. Shit 1.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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