dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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