I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
