Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
