Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
