Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pants are for mortals
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
