before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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