Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
