Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
