Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize