my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
