Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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