look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize