whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
