There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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