her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
