one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
