forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize