Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
