I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
