you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
