you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
