Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
