how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
