You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
