I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
