Sponge bath it is.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
