its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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