Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
