i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
