I'm so fucking centered right now
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
