the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
