we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
