You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
