Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
