I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
