fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
