i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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