Just fell off a train. Bad.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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