..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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