Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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