my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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