i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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