Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He felt like a one man threesome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
