I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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