his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize