she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
