And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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