walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
