My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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