Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
