I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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