do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
