he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
