dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
