I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
