is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
