What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
