I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
